Duality in Love and Hate

Tu: “Does love need duality to exist?”

Moi: “Perhaps we have to decouple the action from its object”

note: about Tu et Moi

“To love is to appreciate. Hate needs duality, though the feeling is in the hater … The mystics talk about attachment and aversion. But also of bliss. It’s a different way of looking at things beyond the emotions that these things cause.”

The idea of not being wanted, of being a part of a group that is not liked, that is so heartbreaking. Why we hate? There is always a reason, no matter how unreasonable. Why we love? There is no explainable reason. The illogical is such a better state than the logical.

• We shall arrive like a procession of ghosts of your old neighbours, the ones haunting you in your dreams, the neighbours you have never had a chance to meet.
• We long to write new pages into a history that never quite took the course we wanted.
• With one religion, we cannot listen; With one color, we cannot see; With one culture, we cannot feel; Without you we can’t even remember

Hate can bring change. But I am beginning to believe in the power of nice. The transformation in someone you are nice to is subtle but definite, But I do wonder about the irrationality of love vs. the logic of hate. It is strange how the most important things in life are subjective. And I say that as a scientist

“negative emotions have power in us because of the limbic system. To hate is a powerful thing. Joy is more subtle and it can be smashed more easily. To think that a house or land is yours is a mistake we all make the same. I don’t think hate bring change. Hate makes a barrier that blocks change, actually.”

I had actually confused anger with hate. Anger can motivate, though not necessarily, while hate is almost always destructive. But what about the notion of duality? Can we hate or love unilaterally? The answer seems to be “yes” but it also depends on our definition. Of course, we do need two parties for both states even if the feeling may not be reciprocated. So we have to decouple the action from its object.